At some point in life, it’s time to get realistic, right? Going for it, having what you really want is a pipe dream, a “fool’s errand,” so why even bother?
We get conditioned early in life to avoid failure, disappointment and feeling bad at all costs. The underlying theme is don’t go for what you really want, go for what you think you can get. Settling becomes the norm.
I have two questions for you:
- Who decided what’s realistic and what isn’t?
- What is the problem with failure and/or feeling bad? No, really. What is the problem?
Regarding question #1…
Was it realistic to think we’d land a man on the moon, a rover on Mars, or send a rocket outside our solar system?
Was it realistic to think we’d be carrying high-powered mini computers in our hands, using them for phones and cameras and all sorts of cool stuff?
Was it realistic to think we could have the technological ability to have a video call with people all over the world?
We have so many everyday miracles, i.e. one-time-seemingly-unrealistic results in our life that we take for granted. They are part of our reality, so we aren’t present to the fact they were unrealistic a very short time ago.
Perhaps all unrealistic means is it doesn’t yet exist in current reality. Maybe it doesn’t mean that it’s not possible.
In my experience in my own life and in close to 30 years of coaching others, humans seriously underestimate their ability to create and achieve impossible looking results due to an innocent misunderstanding of the infinite potential of the mind. Once understood, it is normal to leave behind notions of realistic and impossible and instead get interested in a new game of “What if?” and “Let’s see what happens.”
Regarding question #2 …
Seriously, what is the problem with failure and/or feeling bad? I am not sure when failure became a bad word. Perhaps in elementary school when a parent reacted badly to a failing grade.
No matter. Failure is neutral – neither good nor bad AND is an essential aspect of learning. One cannot move along the learning curve of life without failing. It’s impossible. We have made failure personal. It is not. A baby learning to walk, talk, feed themselves, etc. fails constantly. We accept that as customary, part of their growth and development. This doesn’t change as we age. Failure is merely a word used to describe whether you achieved the result or not. Period.
Any feelings or emotions you have about where you are on the learning curve will pass if you don’t mistake yourself for the result and label yourself a failure.
We have innocently conflated failure, disappointment and feeling bad. There’s this belief that we should avoid bad feelings (and the things we think cause them) and only welcome good feelings. It’s rubbish and leads to a very hard life filled with mediocrity, dissatisfaction and lack of fulfillment.
The enlightened Scottish Theosopher, Syd Banks was quoted as saying, “If the only thing people learned was not to be afraid of their experience, that alone would change the world.”
Imagine not being afraid of your feelings. Imagine knowing with one-hundred percent certainty that any feeling or experience was not permanent and could not hurt you. Imagine being crystal clear that you are built to withstand any and all feelings – no exceptions. That you are not your thoughts and feelings – you are the aware space in which they arise.
Imagine living life going for what you truly want, succeeding and failing along the way, learning, growing. Free to be with whatever shows up, and instead of being realistic, you are forging a new reality.
Now that sounds miraculous!
Who’s in?
